If a guy is in a relationship but still shows interest in you, it’s confusing—and potentially risky. This article breaks down the real signs he has a girlfriend but likes you, so you can protect your heart and make smart choices.
Navigating feelings for someone who’s already in a relationship is one of the trickiest situations in dating. It’s confusing, emotionally charged, and often leaves you questioning everything—your instincts, his intentions, and even your own worth. You might find yourself thinking, “He says he’s taken, but why does he act like he’s single when he’s around me?” That tension between what he says and what he does is exactly what makes this scenario so hard to read.
You’re not alone. So many people have been in this spot—drawn to someone kind, funny, or exciting, only to later find out they’re already committed. And worse, they keep giving you mixed signals. It’s not fair, and it’s definitely not respectful. But before you jump to conclusions or let your heart run wild, it’s important to look at the facts. Are his actions truly pointing to romantic interest? Or are you reading too much into friendly behavior? The truth lies in the patterns, not just isolated moments.
This article will help you cut through the confusion. We’ll explore the real signs he has a girlfriend but likes you—signals that go beyond surface-level charm or casual banter. You’ll learn how to spot emotional intimacy, recognize red flags, and protect yourself from getting caught in a messy situation. Because while it’s tempting to believe you’re the “exception” or that “he’ll leave her for me,” the healthiest path is always clarity, self-respect, and honesty—with him and with yourself.
Key Takeaways
- He seeks private time with you: If he consistently arranges one-on-one hangouts or late-night chats, it may signal emotional or romantic interest beyond friendship.
- He flirts subtly but frequently: Playful teasing, lingering eye contact, or light physical touch can indicate attraction, even if he claims to be “just being friendly.”
- He avoids talking about his girlfriend: When he dodges questions about her or downplays their relationship, it could mean he’s emotionally checked out—or trying to keep you interested.
- He compares you to her (positively): Saying things like “You’re so much more fun than she is” is a major red flag and shows disrespect toward both of you.
- He gets jealous when you mention other guys: Unwarranted jealousy suggests he sees you as more than a friend, despite being in a committed relationship.
- He shares personal problems or secrets: Confiding in you about relationship issues or emotional struggles may be a way to build intimacy and blur boundaries.
- He makes future plans that exclude his girlfriend: Talking about trips, events, or dreams “we could do together” hints at romantic intentions he hasn’t acknowledged.
📑 Table of Contents
He Seeks Private Time with You
One of the clearest signs he has a girlfriend but likes you is when he consistently makes time to be alone with you. Now, hanging out one-on-one doesn’t automatically mean something romantic—friends do that too. But the context matters. If he’s going out of his way to create private moments, especially when he could easily include others or his girlfriend, that’s a red flag.
For example, imagine he invites you to coffee “just to catch up,” but always picks quiet corners, late hours, or secluded spots. Or maybe he texts you late at night saying, “Can’t sleep—wanna talk?” Those aren’t innocent check-ins. They’re invitations for emotional intimacy, and they often happen when his girlfriend isn’t around. He might even cancel plans with her to spend time with you, or make excuses to leave early so he can “run into you” somewhere.
Another clue? He avoids group settings when it comes to you. If he always suggests meeting up just the two of you—even for things like studying, walking, or watching movies—it suggests he wants a connection that feels more personal. And if he gets visibly uncomfortable when others join, or quickly shifts the conversation back to you, that’s a sign he’s prioritizing your bond over group dynamics.
He Uses “Just Friends” as a Cover
Many guys in relationships will insist they’re “just friends” with you—even when their actions say otherwise. They’ll say things like, “We’re totally platonic,” or “She knows we hang out, it’s no big deal.” But if he’s spending hours alone with you, sharing deep thoughts, or acting jealous when you talk about other men, “just friends” starts to feel like a lie.
This is especially true if he’s secretive about your hangouts. Does he avoid posting photos of you together? Does he ask you not to mention your meetups to mutual friends? That kind of behavior suggests he knows what he’s doing might not be appropriate—and he’s trying to keep it under wraps.
He Creates Emotional Dependency
When a guy in a relationship likes you, he often turns to you for emotional support—sometimes more than he does his girlfriend. He might call you when he’s stressed, vent about his relationship problems, or seek your advice on personal matters. While it’s kind to listen, it becomes problematic when he relies on you as his primary emotional outlet.
For instance, he might say, “You’re the only one who really gets me,” or “I can’t talk to her about this stuff.” That kind of language builds intimacy and makes you feel special—but it also puts you in a position that should belong to his partner. Over time, this can create a false sense of closeness, making you believe you have a unique bond when, in reality, he’s using you to fill a gap in his current relationship.
He Flirts—Even If He Denies It
Visual guide about Signs He Has a Girlfriend but Likes You
Image source: bonobology.com
Flirting is one of the most obvious signs he has a girlfriend but likes you. But here’s the thing: men in relationships often flirt subtly, so it’s easy to miss—or explain away. They might not hold your hand or kiss you, but their words, tone, and body language can still scream attraction.
Look for patterns. Does he compliment you more than others? Say things like, “You look amazing today,” or “I love how smart you are”? Does he tease you in a playful, almost intimate way—like poking fun at your habits or calling you a nickname only he uses? These aren’t just friendly gestures. They’re ways of building chemistry without crossing obvious lines.
Body Language Speaks Volumes
Pay attention to how he acts around you physically. Does he lean in when you talk? Find reasons to touch your arm, shoulder, or hand—even briefly? Does he hold eye contact a little too long, or smile at you in a way that feels different from how he smiles at others? These micro-signals are hard to fake and often reveal genuine interest.
Also notice if he mirrors your movements—like crossing his legs when you do, or sipping his drink when you take a sip. Mirroring is a subconscious sign of connection and attraction. And if he adjusts his posture to face you directly, even in a group, it shows he’s focused on you.
He Flirts Differently with You
Compare how he acts around you versus other women. Does he laugh louder at your jokes? Go out of his way to help you? Remember small details about your life—like your favorite snack or a story you told weeks ago? If he treats you with special attention, it’s likely because he sees you as more than a friend.
And watch how he reacts when you flirt back. Does he get flustered? Smile shyly? Try to keep the conversation going? That’s a strong indicator he’s enjoying the attention—and probably hoping for more.
He Avoids Talking About His Girlfriend
Visual guide about Signs He Has a Girlfriend but Likes You
Image source: i.pinimg.com
Another major sign he has a girlfriend but likes you is when he dodges questions about her or acts uncomfortable when she comes up. You might bring her up casually—“How’s Sarah doing?”—and he’ll give a vague answer like “Fine,” or change the subject entirely. Or worse, he might downplay their relationship, saying things like, “We’re not that serious,” or “We don’t see each other much.”
This avoidance isn’t just awkward—it’s strategic. By minimizing his relationship, he makes it easier for you to imagine a future with him. He’s creating space in your mind (and his) for the idea that he might be available. And if he never introduces you to her, or acts nervous when you ask to meet, that’s another red flag.
He Shares Relationship Problems with You
When a guy in a relationship starts complaining about his girlfriend to you, it’s a big warning sign. He might say things like, “She doesn’t understand me,” or “We fight all the time.” While it’s natural to vent sometimes, consistently badmouthing your partner—or asking for your opinion on how to fix things—crosses a line.
This behavior does two things: it makes you feel like the “better” option, and it builds emotional intimacy between you. He’s essentially positioning you as his confidante, which can feel flattering—but it’s also unfair to both of you. A healthy partner doesn’t seek emotional support from someone outside the relationship, especially not someone they’re attracted to.
He Compares You to Her—Unfairly
One of the most disrespectful things a guy can do is compare you to his girlfriend—especially in a way that makes you look better. Comments like, “You’re so much more fun than she is,” or “I wish she was more like you,” are not compliments. They’re manipulations.
These comparisons serve a purpose: they make you feel special and desired, while subtly undermining his current relationship. They also plant the idea that you’re the “ideal” partner—someone he should be with instead. But here’s the truth: no one should be used as a benchmark to criticize another person. And if he’s willing to talk about her like that to you, what’s stopping him from talking about you like that to someone else?
He Gets Jealous When You Mention Other Men
Visual guide about Signs He Has a Girlfriend but Likes You
Image source: todaywedate.com
Jealousy is a powerful emotion—and when a guy in a relationship feels it toward you, it’s a strong sign he likes you. You might casually mention a date, a guy friend, or even a celebrity crush, and suddenly he acts off. He might get quiet, ask too many questions, or make sarcastic comments like, “Oh, so you’re seeing someone now?”
This reaction isn’t about concern—it’s about possession. Even though he’s with someone else, he doesn’t like the idea of you being interested in anyone else. It’s a double standard, and it shows he sees you as more than a friend.
He Tries to Sabotage Your Other Connections
In more extreme cases, he might try to interfere with your other relationships. He could discourage you from going on dates, imply that other guys aren’t good enough for you, or even spread subtle rumors to make you seem unavailable. These behaviors are controlling and unhealthy—and they reveal a deeper level of attachment.
For example, he might say, “I don’t think that guy’s right for you,” or “You deserve someone who really gets you.” Sounds nice on the surface, but it’s really a way of positioning himself as the better option—without actually committing to leaving his current relationship.
He Reacts Strongly to Your Social Media
Social media can be a goldmine for jealousy signals. Does he like every photo of you—especially ones with other guys? Leave comments that seem overly interested? Or suddenly start watching your stories more closely after you post about a night out?
Even small actions, like unfollowing a guy you’re dating or asking, “Who was that with you last night?” can indicate he’s keeping tabs on your love life. And if he gets visibly upset when you post about someone else, that’s a clear sign he’s emotionally invested—even if he won’t admit it.
He Shares Personal Secrets or Vulnerabilities
When a guy in a relationship starts opening up to you about deep, personal things—like family issues, past trauma, or fears about the future—it’s a sign he’s building emotional intimacy. And while vulnerability can be a good thing in friendships, it becomes problematic when it’s one-sided or used to create a false sense of closeness.
For instance, he might tell you, “I’ve never told anyone this before,” or “You’re the only person I can be real with.” These statements are designed to make you feel special—and they often work. But they also cross boundaries. A healthy relationship doesn’t require someone outside the partnership to be the primary source of emotional support.
He Uses “Deep Talk” to Build Connection
Some guys use deep conversations as a way to flirt without flirting. They’ll ask thoughtful questions like, “What’s your biggest dream?” or “What scares you the most?” and listen intently to your answers. While this can feel meaningful, it’s also a tactic to create intimacy quickly—especially if he doesn’t offer the same level of vulnerability in return.
If he’s always the one asking questions but rarely shares about himself, it’s a red flag. He’s drawing you in emotionally without giving you equal access to his world. And if he only opens up when you’re alone, it suggests he doesn’t want his girlfriend (or others) to know how close you’ve become.
He Seeks Reassurance from You
Another sign he has a girlfriend but likes you is when he constantly seeks validation from you. He might ask, “Do you think I’m a good person?” or “Am I doing the right thing?” These questions aren’t just about self-doubt—they’re about wanting your approval.
When he relies on you for emotional reassurance, it creates a dynamic where you feel responsible for his happiness. That’s not healthy—and it’s not fair. A mature person in a relationship should be able to handle their own emotions and seek support from their partner, not from someone they’re attracted to outside the relationship.
He Makes Future Plans That Exclude His Girlfriend
One of the most telling signs he has a girlfriend but likes you is when he talks about the future—and you’re in it, but she’s not. He might say things like, “We should go on that trip together someday,” or “I can’t wait to see what you do next.” These aren’t just casual comments. They’re hints at a future he imagines with you.
Even small plans can be revealing. If he suggests, “Let’s meet up next month when I’m back in town,” or “We should start that project together,” it shows he’s thinking long-term—and including you in his vision. But if those plans never involve his girlfriend, or he avoids mentioning her when talking about the future, it’s a sign he’s emotionally distancing himself from her—and drawing closer to you.
He Talks About “What If” Scenarios
Guys who like you but are in a relationship often entertain “what if” thoughts. He might say, “What if we had met first?” or “I wonder what would’ve happened if I wasn’t with her.” These aren’t just hypotheticals—they’re admissions of interest.
While it’s natural to wonder about alternate paths, repeatedly bringing up these scenarios shows he’s emotionally conflicted. He’s not just curious—he’s imagining a life with you. And that kind of fantasy can be dangerous, especially if he’s not willing to take real steps toward making it happen.
He Makes Promises He Can’t Keep
Another red flag is when he makes promises about the future—like “I’ll leave her soon,” or “We’ll be together one day”—but never follows through. These statements are manipulative. They give you hope while keeping you in limbo.
If he’s always saying “soon” but nothing changes, it’s time to stop waiting. Real change requires action, not just words. And if he’s not willing to leave his relationship for you, he’s not serious about being with you.
How to Protect Yourself
Recognizing the signs he has a girlfriend but likes you is only the first step. The harder part is deciding what to do about it. Getting involved with someone who’s already committed can lead to heartbreak, guilt, and even damage your self-esteem. So how do you protect yourself?
First, trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore red flags just because he’s charming or makes you feel special. Your feelings matter, but so does your integrity.
Second, set clear boundaries. If he’s crossing lines—like flirting, sharing secrets, or making future plans—let him know it’s not okay. You can say something like, “I care about you, but I can’t be your emotional support while you’re in a relationship.” Be firm, kind, and consistent.
Third, limit your contact. If he’s not willing to be honest or leave his girlfriend, it’s best to step back. Unfollow him on social media, avoid one-on-one hangouts, and focus on building connections with people who are truly available.
Finally, remember your worth. You deserve someone who chooses you—fully, openly, and without hesitation. Don’t settle for being someone’s secret or backup plan. Your heart is too valuable for that.
When to Walk Away
There will come a point when you have to ask yourself: Is this worth it? If he’s still with his girlfriend, still giving you mixed signals, and still not taking responsibility for his actions, it’s time to walk away.
Staying in this situation—even as a “friend”—only prolongs the pain. You’ll keep hoping he’ll change, keep excusing his behavior, and keep hurting yourself in the process. But you don’t have to live in uncertainty. You have the power to walk away and find someone who respects you, honors your boundaries, and loves you without conditions.
Walking away isn’t failure—it’s strength. It’s choosing yourself over someone who can’t choose you. And when you do, you open the door to real, healthy love—the kind that doesn’t come with secrets, guilt, or second chances.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can a guy in a relationship truly like someone else?
Yes, it’s possible for someone in a relationship to develop feelings for another person. Emotional or romantic attraction can happen even when someone is committed. However, acting on those feelings without honesty or integrity is unfair to everyone involved.
How do I know if he’s serious about leaving his girlfriend?
Look for consistent actions, not just words. If he’s making concrete plans, setting a timeline, or taking steps to end his current relationship, he may be serious. But if he only talks about it without follow-through, he’s likely stringing you along.
Is it wrong to stay friends with someone who has a girlfriend but likes me?
It depends on the boundaries. If the friendship remains platonic, respectful, and doesn’t involve emotional intimacy or secrecy, it can be okay. But if he’s using the friendship to flirt or seek validation, it’s best to distance yourself.
Should I confront him about his feelings?
You can, but be prepared for any response. A calm, honest conversation can bring clarity—but don’t expect him to leave his girlfriend just because you ask. Focus on how his actions affect you, not on changing his choices.
What if his girlfriend doesn’t know about me?
That’s a major red flag. Secrecy suggests he knows his behavior is inappropriate. You deserve to be with someone who’s proud to have you in their life—not someone who hides you.
Can a relationship survive after one person cheats emotionally?
It’s possible, but it requires full honesty, accountability, and rebuilding trust. Emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones. Both partners must be willing to do the hard work—and even then, it’s not guaranteed.