How to Write a Condolence Message (Examples for Cards, Texts & Belated Notes)

Learning how to write a condolence message is really about learning to be present on paper. You do not need beautiful language. You need to be kind, brief and sincere.

This guide explains how to write a sympathy card or note step by step, what to avoid, and when to send it. It also includes more than 80 ready-to-use condolence messages for cards, texts, friends, family, colleagues and belated notes.

For specific losses, see our sympathy messages for loss of son and sympathy messages for loss of sister.

How to Write a Condolence Message Step by Step

Most good condolence messages follow the same simple pattern. You can write one in five minutes.

• <ol><li><strong>Begin with your sympathy.</strong> “I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your father” is a clear and natural opening.</li><li><strong>Mention the person.</strong> Use their name, and if you knew them, add one detail: their kindness, their humour or something they did for you.</li><li><strong>Acknowledge the pain.</strong> A line such as “I know how much he meant to you” shows you understand without pretending to know exactly how they feel.</li><li><strong>Offer something specific.</strong> Instead of “let me know if you need anything”, say “I will bring dinner on Tuesday” or “I can pick up the children from school.”</li><li><strong>Close warmly.</strong> End with “Thinking of you and your family” or “With deepest sympathy”, followed by your name.</li></ol>

What to Avoid in a Sympathy Card

Many people hesitate to write because they fear saying the wrong thing. These are the common mistakes.

• Avoid “I know exactly how you feel”. Every loss is different.
• Avoid “at least” phrases, such as “at least she lived a long life”. They can make a person feel their grief is being brushed aside.
• Avoid long stories about your own losses. A brief mention is fine, but keep the focus on them.
• Do not ask about the cause of death, and do not comment on it.
• Do not give advice about how they should grieve or when they should feel better.
• Avoid jokes unless you are very close and the family has been sharing humour themselves.

Short Condolence Messages

Short is perfectly fine. These work for cards, flowers and people you know only slightly.

• I am so sorry for your loss.
• Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.
• Please accept my heartfelt condolences.
• With deepest sympathy to you and your family.
• Wishing you comfort and strength in the days ahead.
• My thoughts are with you at this sad time.
• I am deeply sorry. I am here if you need me.
• May the memory of your loved one bring you peace.
• Sending my sincere sympathy to all of you.
• We are thinking of you and holding you close.
• Our hearts go out to you and your family.
• So sorry to hear your news. You are in my thoughts.
• Please know how much you are cared for.
• With love and sympathy.

How to Write a Sympathy Card for a Friend

With a friend, you can be warmer and more personal. Say what you feel and what you can do.

• I am heartbroken for you. I wish I could take away some of this pain. I will call you tomorrow, and I am here whenever you need me.
• You have been such a good friend to me, and now I want to be one to you. Tell me what would help.
• I can only imagine how hard this is. Please know that you are not alone.
• I will always remember her warmth and laughter. She was a wonderful person, and I am so sorry she is gone.
• There is no right way to grieve, so take your time. I will be here for the whole of it.
• I am thinking of you more than I can say. May the love around you give you strength.
• If you want to talk, I will listen. If you want company in silence, I will sit with you.
• You have my deepest sympathy. I will drop by this weekend with some food, if that is okay.
• I loved your father’s stories. I am so sorry he is gone, and I am here for you.
• You are in my thoughts every day. I will keep checking on you.
• Whatever you need, I am here, and I mean it.
• Please look after yourself. I am only a message away.

How to Word a Condolence Card for Family

Family messages can be tender and personal, because you share the loss.

• We have lost someone very dear to us, and I am thinking of you all. Let us lean on each other.
• I am so sorry. I will always cherish my memories of him, and I know you will too.
• Please know that I am here to help with anything at all, from the arrangements to the meals.
• Our family is grieving with yours. We love you.
• She meant so much to all of us. May our memories help us through this time.
• I know how close you were. I am here, whenever you wish to talk about her.
• We will keep her memory alive by telling the stories she loved.
• This is a heavy loss for our family. Please do not carry it alone.
• My heart is with you and your children. Let me know how I can help.
• I am so grateful for the time we had with him. I am thinking of you.

Condolence Messages for a Colleague or Business Contact

Workplace messages are polite, respectful and not too personal. Keep them short and offer practical support.

• Please accept my sincere condolences on your loss. Take all the time you need.
• I was very sorry to learn of your loss. Our team is thinking of you.
• My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Please do not worry about work.
• On behalf of everyone at the office, we send our heartfelt condolences.
• We are keeping you and your family in our thoughts. Let us know if we can help in any way.
• I am so sorry for your loss. Your work matters a great deal, but your family comes first right now.
• Please accept our condolences. We will cover your responsibilities while you are away.
• With sincere sympathy from all of us at the company.
• Thinking of you at this difficult time. There is no need to reply.
• We were saddened to hear your news. Please take care of yourself and your family.

Belated Condolence Messages

If you did not know in time, or you were too unsure what to say, send a note anyway. A late message is far better than none.

• I have been thinking of you for weeks, and I am sorry I did not write sooner. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.
• Please forgive my late message. I only just heard about your loss, and my heart goes out to you.
• I should have written sooner, and I apologise. I want you to know I have not forgotten you.
• Though some time has passed, I am still thinking of you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss.
• I did not know what to say, so I said nothing, and I regret that. I am sorry for your loss, and I am here now.
• My belated condolences on the loss of your father. He was a good man, and I remember him fondly.
• I know the weeks after the funeral are often the hardest. I am thinking of you and would love to see you.
• Better late than never. I want to say how sorry I am. I hope you are looking after yourself.
• I have been meaning to write to you for some time. You and your family are in my thoughts.
• It has been a while, but I am thinking of you today, and I am here if you would like to talk.

Condolence Text Messages

A text is fine when you need to reach someone quickly. Keep it brief and tell them not to feel obliged to reply.

• I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you. No need to reply.
• Just heard the news and I am heartbroken for you. I am here for anything.
• Sending you strength today. I will call in a few days.
• I am so sorry. I will bring dinner tomorrow evening, if that suits.
• Thinking of you and your family tonight.
• I do not have the right words, but I wanted you to know I care.
• My deepest condolences. Please take care of yourself.
• I am here whenever you want to talk or just not be alone.

Opening Lines You Can Use

Not sure how to start? Choose an opener and continue in your own words.

• I was so very sorry to hear that…
• It was with great sadness that I learned of…
• I am writing to say how sorry I am about…
• There are no words to express how sorry I am for…
• Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of…
• I cannot tell you how sad I was to hear of…
• Our hearts are with you following the loss of…
• It was a shock to hear the news about…

Closing Lines for a Sympathy Card

The ending leaves a lasting impression. Choose a warm and simple sign-off.

• With deepest sympathy,
• Thinking of you always,
• With love and warm thoughts,
• Wishing you peace and comfort,
• With heartfelt condolences,
• Holding you in my thoughts,
• Yours sincerely, with deepest sympathy,
• With love and support,

Three Sample Condolence Messages

Use these as they are, or combine lines to suit your own situation.

Sample 1 (a friend): Dear Laila, I was so sorry to hear that your mother has passed away. She was one of the kindest women I have known, and I will always remember her generosity. I am thinking of you and I will call on Friday. If there is anything I can do before then, please tell me. With love, Sara.

Sample 2 (a colleague): Dear Mr Khan, please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your father. Our whole team is thinking of you and your family. Please take all the time you need, and do not worry about work. With sympathy, Michael Brown.

Sample 3 (a belated note): Dear Hamza, I have been thinking of you and your family since I heard about Bilal. I am sorry it has taken me so long to write. He was a lovely man and a good friend. Whenever you feel like talking or going for a walk, I would be glad to see you. Warmly, Adam.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the best way to start a condolence message?
Start with a simple expression of sympathy, such as “I was so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother.” Then add a personal touch and an offer of help.

How long should a condolence message be?
Two to five sentences are enough for most cards. For a close friend you may write a few paragraphs, but short and sincere always works.

When should you send a condolence message?
Ideally within one or two weeks of the news. If more time has passed, send it anyway, and mention that you have been thinking of them.

Is it better to write a card or send a text?
A handwritten card feels more personal and can be kept, but a text is acceptable for a quick message. For close friends and family, a text now and a card later is a thoughtful combination.

What should you write if you did not know the person who died?
Write to the grieving person instead. For example: “I am so sorry for your loss. I know how much he meant to you, and I am thinking of you.”

A Final Word

Whatever you write, a sincere effort matters more than perfect phrasing. Keep it short, mention the person, and offer a kindness. For more ideas, see our guide on what to say to someone who lost a loved one, the page on sympathy quotes and messages, and the full Kind Words collection.