Texts to Get Him Chasing You

Want him to pursue you more? The right texts can ignite curiosity, build emotional connection, and make you unforgettable. This guide reveals proven texting strategies that encourage genuine interest—without playing games or seeming desperate.

So, you’ve met someone you really like—maybe on a date, through friends, or even online—and now you’re wondering how to keep the spark alive through text. You don’t want to seem too eager, but you also don’t want to disappear and lose his interest. Sound familiar?

Texting might seem simple, but it’s actually one of the most powerful tools in modern dating. The words you choose, the timing of your messages, and even your tone (yes, tone can come through in text!) all shape how he perceives you. And here’s the truth: if you want him to chase you, you don’t need tricks or manipulation. What you need is authenticity, confidence, and a few smart strategies that make you stand out in the best way.

In this guide, we’ll walk you through exactly how to craft texts that get him chasing you—not because you’re playing hard to get, but because you’re genuinely intriguing, fun, and impossible to forget. Whether you’re just getting to know each other or already dating, these tips will help you build connection, spark desire, and keep the conversation flowing naturally.

Key Takeaways

• Confidence is magnetic: Texts that reflect self-assurance naturally draw people in—avoid over-apologizing or seeking validation.
• Curiosity drives action: Leave room for mystery by not over-explaining; hint at fun plans or intriguing thoughts to spark his imagination.
• Timing matters more than frequency: Send messages when he’s likely to respond (evenings or weekends), and avoid texting too soon after meeting.
• Use humor and lightness: Playful banter and witty one-liners create positive emotional associations and make conversations enjoyable.
• Show interest, don’t chase: Ask thoughtful questions and engage with his world, but always maintain your own life and independence.
• Flirt with intention: Compliments and subtle innuendo work best when they’re specific, sincere, and spaced out—not constant.
• Know when to pause: Silence can be powerful; giving space often increases desire and makes your next message more impactful.

Why Texting Matters in Modern Relationships

Let’s be real: most of our communication happens through screens these days. Texting isn’t just a side thing—it’s often the foundation of early relationships. It’s where chemistry is tested, personalities are revealed, and emotional bonds begin to form.

Think about it: when you’re apart, texting is your chance to stay connected. But it’s also a double-edged sword. One poorly timed message or overly eager reply can shift the dynamic in seconds. That’s why understanding how to text effectively is so important.

Good texting isn’t about saying the “perfect” thing every time. It’s about creating a rhythm—a back-and-forth that feels natural, engaging, and mutually interested. When you text with intention, you’re not just sending words; you’re building a vibe. And that vibe? It’s what makes him look forward to hearing from you.

The Psychology Behind Attraction Through Text

Attraction isn’t just about looks or chemistry in person. A lot of it happens in the mind—and texting gives you a unique opportunity to influence that mental space.

When you send a message that makes him smile, laugh, or wonder what you’ll say next, you’re creating positive emotional associations with you. Over time, those small moments build up. He starts to associate you with good feelings—curiosity, excitement, warmth.

And here’s the kicker: the brain loves novelty and mystery. If you’re always available, always responding instantly, or always telling him everything, you remove the element of intrigue. But when you leave a little room for imagination—like hinting at a fun weekend plan without giving all the details—you activate his curiosity.

That curiosity is what makes him want to know more. It’s what makes him text back quickly. It’s what makes him chase you.

How to Start the Conversation the Right Way

First impressions matter—even in text. If you’re just getting to know each other, your opening message sets the tone for everything that follows.

The goal? Be friendly, confident, and a little intriguing—without coming on too strong.

What Not to Do

Avoid generic openers like “Hey” or “What’s up?” They’re low-effort and don’t invite a meaningful response. Also, don’t lead with compliments like “You’re so hot” right away—it can feel superficial and put pressure on him to respond in kind.

And please, don’t double-text if he hasn’t replied. It sends the message that you’re anxious or overly invested too soon.

Better Opening Texts

Instead, try something that shows you’re paying attention and have a sense of humor. For example:
– “I saw your photo with the dog—what’s his name? I need to know if he’s as cute as he looks.”
– “You mentioned loving tacos last time we talked… I found the spiciest place in town. Should we test our bravery?”
– “I just watched that movie you recommended. Spoiler: I cried. Thanks for the emotional damage.”

These messages are personal, light, and open-ended—they invite a response without demanding one.

Timing Your First Text

Wait at least 24 hours after meeting to send your first message. This gives him time to process the interaction and avoids seeming too eager. If you met on a dating app, it’s okay to respond within a few hours—but don’t be the first to message unless the conversation was clearly mutual.

Crafting Texts That Spark Interest and Keep Him Engaged

Once the conversation is rolling, your goal shifts from starting it to sustaining it. You want him to look forward to your messages, not feel obligated to reply.

Use Open-Ended Questions

Instead of yes/no questions like “Did you have a good day?”, try ones that invite storytelling:
– “What’s the most random thing that happened to you today?”
– “If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you go?”
– “What’s something you’re really passionate about that most people don’t know?”

These show genuine interest and encourage deeper conversation.

Share Stories, Not Just Updates

People connect through stories, not status reports. Instead of “I went to the gym,” try:
– “I tried a new workout class today and almost died. I think the instructor hates me.”
– “I saw a dog wearing sunglasses at the park. My heart is full.”

These little anecdotes are relatable, funny, and give him something to respond to.

Be Playful and Flirty—But Keep It Light

Flirting through text is an art. You want to be suggestive without being explicit. Try:
– “You’d probably hate my music taste, but I’ll let you suffer through it anyway.”
– “I have a theory that you’re secretly a great dancer. Prove me right or wrong?”
– “If you were a snack, you’d be my favorite—crunchy on the outside, sweet on the inside.”

These messages are fun, confident, and subtly romantic—perfect for building attraction.

The Power of Mystery and Space

Here’s a truth that might surprise you: sometimes, the best way to get someone to chase you is to not be constantly available.

This doesn’t mean ghosting or playing games. It means maintaining your independence and not dropping everything to respond the second he texts.

Why Space Increases Desire

When you’re always reachable, you remove the sense of anticipation. But when you take a little time to reply—or don’t text back immediately—you create a subtle pull. He starts to wonder what you’re doing, if you’re busy, or if you’re thinking about him too.

This isn’t about being cold or disinterested. It’s about balance. You can be warm and engaging while still having a life outside of him.

How to Use Silence Strategically

If he sends a message and you’re in the middle of something important, it’s okay to wait a few hours to reply. A simple “Hey, just saw this—was in a meeting!” keeps it light and honest.

Also, don’t feel the need to fill every silence. If the conversation naturally slows, let it. You can always pick it up later with a fun update or question.

Avoid Over-Texting

Sending multiple messages in a row without a response can feel overwhelming. If he hasn’t replied in a few hours, wait. If it’s been a day, it’s okay to send a casual follow-up like:
– “No pressure to reply, but I saw this and thought of you…”
– “Hope your day’s going well! I’m off to [activity]—talk soon?”

These show you’re thinking of him without demanding attention.

Building Emotional Connection Through Text

Attraction isn’t just about physical chemistry—it’s about emotional intimacy. And texting is a great way to build that connection over time.

Share Vulnerable Moments (Carefully)

You don’t need to spill your deepest secrets right away, but sharing small, genuine moments can deepen your bond. For example:
– “I had a weird dream last night about flying over the ocean. Still not sure what it means, but it felt peaceful.”
– “I used to be terrified of public speaking. Now I do it for work—still nervous, but proud I pushed through.”

These moments show authenticity and invite him to share his own experiences.

Remember the Little Things

If he mentions his dog’s birthday, his favorite coffee order, or a project he’s working on, bring it up later.
– “How’s [dog’s name] doing? Did he get extra treats for his birthday?”
– “You mentioned that presentation today—how’d it go?”

This shows you’re listening and care about his world.

Use Inside Jokes and Shared References

Once you’ve established some rapport, lean into inside jokes or references only the two of you understand.
– “Still recovering from that taco challenge. My stomach hasn’t forgiven you.”
– “Remember when you said you’d never try sushi? I saw you ordering it yesterday. Growth!”

These create a sense of closeness and shared history.

Knowing When to Take It Offline

Texting is great for building connection, but it’s not a substitute for real-life interaction. At some point, you’ll want to move the conversation offline—whether that’s a phone call, video chat, or in-person date.

How to Suggest a Meetup Naturally

Don’t wait too long to suggest meeting up. If you’ve been texting for a week or two and the vibe is good, it’s time to take the next step.

Try:
– “I keep thinking about that coffee place you mentioned. Want to check it out together this weekend?”
– “I’m going to that concert on Friday—any chance you’re free to join?”
– “I’m free Thursday evening if you want to grab dinner and finally see if you’re as funny in person as you are over text.”

These are low-pressure and give him an easy way to say yes.

What If He Doesn’t Respond?

If he’s been responsive but suddenly goes quiet after you suggest meeting, don’t panic. He might be busy or unsure. Wait a few days, then send a light follow-up:
– “No worries if you’re swamped—just wanted to see if you’re still up for that coffee sometime.”

If he still doesn’t reply, it’s okay to move on. You’ve put yourself out there, and that’s something to be proud of.

Common Texting Mistakes to Avoid

Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to slip into habits that push people away. Here are a few to watch out for:

– **Over-explaining:** Don’t justify your actions or over-apologize for normal behavior.
– **Being too negative:** Constant complaints or venting can drain the energy from a conversation.
– **Ignoring his messages:** If you’re interested, respond—even if it’s just a quick “Hey, saw this—will reply properly later!”
– **Trying too hard to be funny:** Humor is great, but forced jokes can fall flat. Be yourself.
– **Comparing yourself to others:** Avoid mentioning exes or other people he might know—it creates unnecessary tension.

Final Thoughts: Be You, But Be Your Best You

At the end of the day, the most powerful texts are the ones that come from a place of confidence and authenticity. You don’t need to be perfect—you just need to be present, kind, and true to who you are.

When you text with intention, you’re not trying to manipulate or control the outcome. You’re simply showing up as someone worth chasing: interesting, fun, and unafraid to be seen.

So go ahead—send that message. Be playful. Be curious. Be you. And watch as he starts to chase you—not because you played games, but because you made him feel something real.

Frequently Asked Questions

How soon should I text after a date?

Wait at least 24 hours to send a follow-up text. This shows you’re interested but not overly eager. A simple “Had a great time last night—thanks for the laughs!” works perfectly.

Is it bad to text first?

Not at all! If you’re interested, there’s no rule saying you can’t reach out first. Just keep your message light and confident—don’t overthink it.

How often should we text?

There’s no set rule, but aim for balance. Texting daily is fine if both of you enjoy it, but avoid constant back-and-forth. Quality matters more than quantity.

What if he takes forever to reply?

Give him the benefit of the doubt—he might be busy. If it’s a pattern, it’s okay to address it gently: “I love our chats, but I’ve noticed you’re slow to reply. Everything good?”

Should I use emojis in my texts?

Yes—emojis can add tone and emotion to your messages. Just don’t overdo it. A smiley or heart here and there keeps things warm and friendly.

How do I know if he’s really interested?

Look for consistent effort: he initiates conversations, asks questions, and makes plans. If he’s only responding out of obligation, it might be time to reevaluate.